When your dog is diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma, the shift in energy within your household is palpable. As a dog owner, you are prepared to take on the difficult and uncomfortable tasks that come with this diagnosis, keeping your dog’s best interests in mind. However, as a parent, you feel a strong instinct to shield your children from heartbreak and challenging situations, especially if this will be the first significant loss of their young lives. If you find yourself struggling to strike a balance, here are some things to consider.
¿Should You Tell Your Children Their Dog Has Cancer?
The bond children form with their pets can mirror secure human relationships, offering affection, protection, and reassurance in similar ways.
Studies show that children and teenagers often experience significant psychological distress—close to indicators of depression—when losing their pets, and these feelings can persist for three years or longer. Another study found that kids who aren’t given space to grieve may struggle with anxiety or depression later in life.
Kids are excellent at sensing and mirroring the energy around them. So while you might be tempted to hide how serious your dog’s hemangiosarcoma diagnosis is—or delay the truth until you’ve processed it yourself—it’s actually healthier to do the opposite, and walk them through everything your family is facing:
- Explain the diagnosis in age-appropriate ways. Use words they can understand, and if you don’t feel it’s the right time to explain cancer, describe the illness without labeling it. Encourage your child to ask questions so they understand it’s simply a matter of the body not working correctly.
- If your child is old enough to understand death, be honest about what will happen before it occurs. Psychologists and veterinarians recommend avoiding terms like “put to sleep” or stories about “going to a better place,” as children’s literal thinking may lead to bedtime fears or trust issues. While words like “death” and “dying” may sound harsh to you as a parent, they should be stated clearly so your child understands their pet won’t be coming back.
- Remember that children grieve differently than adults. Unlike grown-ups, kids don’t know what to expect when grieving. The anticipatory grief they experience while the dog is still alive may show up as sadness, anger, frustration, longing, or other emotions. Children often process grief separately from others, so you might see your child switch between being emotionally connected and then acting like nothing is wrong. If your child doesn’t react immediately, it doesn’t mean they aren’t processing the situation—their response may simply come later.
What Can You Do To Help
There’s no perfect playbook to shape your child’s experience with the loss of a dog, and you’re already doing all the best for your pup and your family—even when you don’t feel like you are. Here are some ways to support your child through this while helping your dog:
- Feel your feelings openly. Resist the urge to put on a strong front and let your child see you cry, be frustrated that your dog is sick, express gratitude, and more. This openness will help them feel safe sharing their own emotions.
- Make them feel part of your plan of action and explain comprehensively any treatments you’re considering. If your kid saw your dog experiencing emergency symptoms, go back to that too, and tell them what could happen and what you will do if it happens again. This can reduce the anxiety of not knowing what will be going on with their pup.
- Set boundaries during treatment. When your dog isn’t feeling their best, remember they can have a lower tolerance for physical interactions and react aggressively out of instinct. If your dog needs some time alone, ensure you monitor all interactions closely, and help your child understand the importance of being calm and careful around their dog.
- Be mindful of the way you talk about veterinarians and doctor visits. Avoid blaming your doctors so that your child doesn’t develop fear or resentment towards healthcare providers, which could create trust issues. It’s natural to feel frustrated or extra worried at times, but try to keep those feelings separate from your child’s experience. Help them understand that the veterinarian is doing their best to help their dog and that the doctor’s office is a place where their dog goes to feel better.
- Involve them in their new care routine. Your child will want to help any way they can, so have them give your dog a treat after medicine time, choose a toy to keep company to the pup when they go visit the vet, teach the dog a new, easy trick when they can’t play rough, have low-energy days together when your kid can pick a favorite movie to show to your dog while it rests, and such. If your child is old enough to take full responsibility for one aspect of their dog’s care, let them have that opportunity to bond and feel more committed in the process.
- Be honest about euthanasia. Your child will likely want to know what happens when their pet’s illness becomes too much. Have this conversation multiple times so they can gradually process the idea, which will help soften the shock if the time comes. If they’re old enough to choose whether to be present during the procedure – and if they want to be – it may help them find closure. You might also offer them the chance to see their pet’s body afterward. While this might seem intensely painful, many children benefit from saying goodbye this way, as it makes the loss more real and helps them grieve. Reassure them that their pet won’t feel any pain – that euthanasia is a peaceful release from suffering.
Final Thoughts
It’s easy to get tangled in the ropes of hemangiosarcoma, and seeing your child lose their buddy dog will break your heart for two. But remember that the best thing you can do is pause the caregiving duties for a second and create amazing memories. Live great moments so your child remembers their dog—not for their disease, but for how incredible and lovely they were.
If you need extra support, here’s a list of great reads that can help you and your children in this trying time.
Sources:
https://www.dogcancer.com/articles/stress-and-finances/talking-to-children/
https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/09/losing-a-pet-can-affect-childrens-mental-health-study-finds/
https://www.anivive.com/learn/article/helping-children-cope-when-the-family-dog-has-cancer
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/when-a-pet-dies-how-to-help-your-child-cope.aspx
